A Letter To Anyone Visiting A New Baby

Dear visitor,

It is a pleasure to welcome you into our home during this important and special time in our lives. I know, it’s exciting and you want to be there, you’re eager to meet the new baby.

However, before you come to see us, I want you to know that:

A new woman was also born, whom I am meeting and trying to love, at the same time as I am grieving for the woman I will no longer be.

I don’t need your opinion or your advice. No matter if you have 1 or 13 children, grandchildren or nephews; or how much experience you have.

I don’t need to know how well your sister or your neighbor is doing.

This is my maternity and I need time and space to figure out what I can do and what’s best for my baby.

I don’t need you to take my baby. So if you do and I ask you to give them back, give them back.
I also don’t need you to “help” me by holding my baby so I can tend the house. But if you like to wash a dish, or two; vacuum or do some laundry. Please do.

Please know that it is very likely that we would like to be alone and/or need to rest, so make your visit brief unless we ask you otherwise. That does not mean that we don’t love you.

I don’t need you to say that I can’t complain, that I wanted to be a mom. Because I need to blow off steam.

I need to tell you that I’m fascinated by this, and at the same time I want to escape. And that doesn’t mean I don’t love my baby.

This is something that can be overwhelming and there will surely be emotional ups and downs. I need you to listen to me without having to say anything later.

I need you on my side.

I need to know that I’m not alone, that I’m counting on you when I can hardly recognize myself.

Thanks again for being there.

Yours sincerely,
A new mom