The 3 AM Club Turns Into the “I Forgot to Reply” Club. The New Mom Reality
Remember when the hardest part of the night was getting the baby back to sleep? Well, now it’s remembering if I ever replied to that text…
I used to belong to the 3 AM Club, connecting with other sleep-deprived mums in the dead of night. We’d swap messages and memes at ridiculous hours, knowing that somewhere out there, another mother was rocking a baby back to sleep, scrolling through social media in the hopes of finding solidarity and some distraction. (If you’re unfamiliar with the 3 AM Club, check out Clare’s post from WhatMummyDidntKnow.blog here).
But as my children grow, and the newborn haze starts to lift (kind of), the sleepless nights stretch into endless days filled with to-do lists, appointments, and toddler meltdowns, I’ve found myself transitioning into a new stage of motherhood. The 3 AM Club slowly transforms into a different kind of club: the “I forgot to reply” Club.
This is the club where:
- You read a message, mentally compose a brilliant reply… only to realize three days later that you never actually hit “send.”
- You respond to a text in your head while changing a diaper or fixing breakfast, then wonder why your friend thinks you’re ghosting them.
- You open your messages with the best intentions, then close them because someone’s crying, a toy just got thrown, or your coffee finally got cold.
- And even worse, you think your friend is ghosting you… but then you realize you never replied.
Now, instead of night-time bonding over sleeplessness, I bond with other moms through the shared experience of unread messages, unspoken words, and delayed responses. It’s not that I don’t want to connect—it’s that my mind is juggling so much that even something as simple as a reply slips through the cracks. You forget things not because you don’t care, but because there’s just so much to care about.
To all my friends and fellow moms…
I am thinking of you. I promise, I’m not ignoring you. The truth is, between snack times, daycare drop-offs, toddler tantrums, and making sure everyone is fed, sometimes my mental “reply all” button just gets stuck.
We’ve entered the stage of life where staying connected means understanding that time looks different for all of us now. So to the friends I haven’t replied to in weeks (or months)—thank you for your patience, your grace, and your understanding.
Because while I might be late in replying, I’ll never be late in loving and appreciating the friendship we share, even if it’s wrapped up in forgotten messages.
Welcome to the “I Forgot to Reply” Club.
We might be slow to text back, but we’re still here, doing our best to stay connected in this whirlwind of motherhood.
Are you part of the “I Forgot to Reply” Club?
If this post resonates with you, share it with another mom who might need to know she’s not alone in the struggle. I’d love to hear your experiences—drop a comment below and let’s start a conversation about all the things we’re trying to keep up with (but sometimes forget!).
Let’s laugh, connect, and give ourselves a little grace together.
